The Mini Kitchen Simulator

I bought a retro kitchen play set for 8 bones!

I’ve been calling it the “Mini Kitchen Simulator”.  If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to cook with tiny, defunct appliances, my mini kitchen will simulate the experience for you.

Here are the burners up close.  Stay back, they’re hot!

We don’t have kids, so this is one of those questionable purchases that might end up in the basement. But at the time, the only thought running through my head was, “FINALLY, AN EXCUSE TO MAKE FELT FOOD!”

For now, the mini kitchen simulator is sitting in our dining room and George has been hanging out in the space where the skink should be.  This scene needs a mini frying pan and mini trout.

Anyway, my mini kitchen simulator is in bad shape, but it has lots of potential.  It’s solid wood, and although it was probably made later, the hardware is from the 50s.  Sanding the shit out of it would be a good start. Then some new paint (pistachio colour?), a new sink/faucet, and possibly a back splash that could include a teeny window and shelf.  That’s right, I can use the mini kitchen simulator to achieve all of my unfulfilled retro kitchen desires.

I have a lot of good memories playing house with my kitchen play set and plastic food.  This is the play set I grew up with:

The coolest part was the coffee maker—you could pour water into the upper container and dispense it into your coffee pot.  I thought water was a pretty lame decoy for real coffee, so I remember making up some kind of juice, glue, and black paint cocktail and fucking up that coffee maker beyond repair.

Anyway, once my mini kitchen has been retrofitted, I think we should all put on mini aprons, break out the mini highball glasses, and have a drunken game of house.